Zombie proofing

Hello folks, happy Halloween and welcome to the latest "Rotter blog".

Here at Wise Property Care we take a lot of pride in our damp-proofing. However, unbelievably, a Polish architectural maverick, Robert Konieczny, will now offer you zombie-proofing.

I suppose a single reinforced front door might be enough to ward off many of your regular ‘threats’ such as door-to-door salesmen, but it will not be enough to stop flesh eating ghouls.

How zombie-proofing works

With massive movable walls, any of the undead approaching the door can be trapped in a new courtyard, which wasn’t there as they shuffled up. This new courtyard now creates a massive enclosed garden. An impenetrable block now imposes itself on the horizon; the only entrance to either the house or garden is through a single doorway, adding incredible levels of security.

There is a roof terrace above the pool house which can be accessed by a single narrow drawbridge, allowing the owner to walk across – safe from the zombies – to the parallel building, which offers an escape to a further building should the security somehow become compromised.

Apparently, there is now an increasing market for this kind of property – the ultimate safe house.

This house is self containing, with additional luxuries such as solar panels, helping you to survive off-grid, until the zombies are once again dead and buried.

Ghouls

Don’t panic though, here in Scotland the most likely source of zombies at your door at this time of year are guisers. So, for real property solutions like damp-proofing please feel free to have a look around our website, where we promise there will be more treats than tricks.

Until next time - Awra best,

The Rotter